25 Ways to Find Love in San Francisco

lalalovela1. Go to a taqueria and buy a burrito for the person behind you in line.

2. Go to The Mint karaoke bar and sing anything by Neil Diamond. Use the musical break in the middle to tell a story. Someone in the back will notice.

3. Take the N Juda and smile at the first person you see who looks interesting. If he smiles back, follow him home. If he doesn’t get scared when you confront him at his front door, ask him if you can come inside.

4. Pay close attention to the sidewalks. If you pass a house that has a handprint pressed into the concrete outside, check under the blue flowerpot.

5. Give the next ten Uber cabs you order five stars and unlock the special weekend chariot. When it shows up sit in the front seat instead of the back and drink the free water.

6. Go to the De Young and stand in front of a painting you just don’t get. After two hours, look harder. After three, blink three times and scratch your head. After four, begin to feel faint. After five, look around to see if anyone else is seeing this. After six, you’ll begin to understand.

7. Go to any local bookstore and write your name and phone number on page 37 of Tales from the City.

8. Next time you pass a discarded pile of clothes on the street, check the pockets.

9. Memorize a poem, any poem. Get drunk at Vesuvio and and stand up on your stool as you recite it to the whole room. Even if you’re too wasted to get the words right, someone will buy you a shot and ask you where you’re from before the night is over.

10. Go to Bourban and Branch and tell them you have a reservation under Neroda. When you get to the back room find Ricardo and ask him to make you a drink that’s bittersweet. Drink it all, wait for the ice to melt, then finish that too.

11. Bring a red bottle to Blue Bottle Coffee and ask them for a drip. If they can figure out a way to make it work, offer them the first sip.

12. Get a red Sharpie pen and draw a heart on the sleeve of your favorite denim shirt. Keep your eye on the first person who notices. She might be the one.

13. Write your three favorite adjectives on the palm of your hand. Share lunch with the first person who fits two out of three. The third will come with time.

14. Don’t bring your lunch to work. You’ll never find it that way.

15. Go out into the fog and remember that it is only a cloud that has touched the ground. If you happen to bump into someone while wandering through the mist, ask them if they’d like to get lost with you.

16. Wear a scarf. Everyone in San Francisco loves a great scarf.

17. Tell a stranger thank you. When they ask what for, tell them everything.

18. Next time you’re in a crowd, close your eyes and listen. There will be a lot going on but if you wait you’ll hear it. Don’t worry, it’s there.

19. Next time you’re at your local bar draw a picture on a coaster and give it to the bartender as a gift. If he puts it on the wall next to the cash register, keep coming back.

20. Walk home and look in every window you pass. Knock on the door of the house with the best art on the wall or, if you’re shy, just stand outside and enjoy.

21. Give up your seat on the train to someone who is young and healthy and standing. It’s nice to be asked and they are more tired than you know.

22. Go to the ocean. As often as you can. Put your feet in the water, no matter how cold. Never, ever wear shoes on the beach. Whatever you do. That’s just wrong.

23. Find someone who doesn’t speak your language and tell them a secret.

24. Stick your tongue out at a small child with her mother. If she sticks her tongue out back, cross your eyes at her. If she crosses her eyes at you back, let her win. Most young children don’t know how to cross their eyes yet.

25. Smile. Sometimes that’s really all it takes.

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Before you read this book, there’s something you should know…

If you don’t like this book a part of me will be very sad. You mean a great deal to me and so does this book and if the two of you don’t get along it will be very hard for all of us. Because I have found myself in this book–a piece, or a part, or a huge overwhelming cancer that has infected every little bit of me–and if you don’t like this book, if you don’t “get” it or understand why it’s so amazing and wonderful and yet horrible and terrifying at the same time, then I’m afraid that you will never, never get to know who I am. You will never “get” or understand me because I belong to this book just as it belongs to me and we cannot be separated. We cannot. So yes, I will be sad. And also very very sorry. Because though I don’t always love myself, I do love this book. I have never doubted it, have never stopped loving it. And this love and trust has never wavered. Never. This book is the very best and worst part of me.

But, you know, no pressure or anything.

Beautiful meaningful lies…

We had dinner at my house, and the summer night fields and softness and great stars bending close-pack’t, and odorous darkness, and flowers and hidden gardens, and the whole universe melting and falling down the skies all crumbled and soft, all blurred and transcendental with milky light, all immortal, all sacrificial and sighing, all too impossible to keep and bear so beautiful and so sad. I wonder why our life must quiver between beauty and guilt, consummation and sadness, desire and regret, immortality and tattered moments unknowable, truth and beautiful meaningful lies, knowledge and the genius of illusion, love and chagrin, “Time” and minutes, what-we-do and what-we-want–or other poles quivering elsewhere in greater softer darknesses.

– Windblown World, collected journals of Jack Kerouac

I’m the Queen of the World

So have you ever stumbled across the exactly right song for you at the exactly right time for you to find it? A song that is so totally awesome but is also so totally how you feel at that particular moment in time?

But not just that. It’s not just about awesomeness and timing, this song. It’s so much more than that. It’s…

  • A song that seems like some kind of expression of your soul (or maybe just how you hope your soul is expressed).
  • A song that has lyrics and music that don’t necessarily agree with each other but agree with you.
  • A song that you’re sure, almost positive, you’re assigning meanings to that aren’t really there, significances that the artist did not intend, but somehow you really don’t give a shit.
  • A song that rocks so well and so hard that you think that maybe, just maybe, you and your soul (that is somehow connected to the soul of this song) could rock that well and that hard too.

No? You’ve never had that happen to you?

Ha, well I have.

Say hello, to the current state of my soul:

Whatever the hell it is I mean by that. Maybe it’s just this…

I’M the queen of the world! I bump into things! I spin around in circles.

Or maybe it’s that, despite minor insignificant setbacks, this has been a glorious week so far. Here are some reasons why:

  • One of my closest friends came back to me.
  • Two of my friends found loooooooooooove with each other.
  • Another two friends got a puppy. (A  puppy! I mean, come on, how can I not melt at that?!)
  • All of my friends have made me laugh entirely too much.
  • I found the awesome soul-type song obsessed about above. (And also downloaded Taylor Swift’s new CD that may not be an extension of my 26 year-old soul but is certainly an extension of my 14 year-old soul. Which, admittedly, is not all that different.)
  • It was unbelievably beautiful outside tonight and I went running in it. (And by it I mean the unbelievably beautiful night…)(Are you ready to puke yet? Is my exuberance too much for you?)
    Okay then, last one…
  • Summer is coming and I’m sure it will be a continuance of these things.

Yay.

Music, friends, puppies, and beautiful nights. Not too shabby eh?